How Long Will I Suffer From Post Partum?

This is a question I ask myself daily. I even say it out loud for myself to hear. Most women who suffer from depression probably do the same thing. It is a way of recognizing the mental state that we are in.

Some days are worse than others. I can happily say that I have more good days than bad now. I can acknowledge when I am having an emotional moment, when the tears fall and I am so overwhelmed by everything in life.

There was a time when the bad days were more consistent than the good days. For mothers who are currently in the midst of the long haul of bad days, I know its unbearable, that you are miserable and hurting. The words of family and friends are not helping (even if they are trying).

I think the hardest part for me was knowing that I should feel happy. I didn’t want to feel bad but I did. I knew my daughter was my biggest blessing but instead of the blissful happiness I should have felt, I felt utter despair.

Everyday was a battle. Hearing the thoughts in my mind and convincing myself that those thoughts were not who I really am. DO NOT give up on yourself. You are not just fighting for yourself, you are fighting this depression for you’re child too.

Find something that will help you relieve stress. Hiking, running, punching a punching bag, starting a journal or try to help others who suffer. These are all things that I have done to help combat my emotions. You should find what works for you. It is not a cure all, but it is certainly a starting point.

Some one once told me to give myself time to get ready in the morning. I thought, ” oh ya that will help” well to my surprise it helped somewhat. I felt more refreshed and more prepared to start my day.

Find time to do the things you did before having the baby. You can do this even if you have you’re child with you. Did you actively take walks? Take the baby with you and feel that crisp morning air. Were you an avid reader? Read while she is sleeping. Did you workout? Safely put the baby in a pack and play and do that work out. The important thing is to create a new normal for yourself.

People think you should change you’re life completely once you have a child. News flash, you can still be you. Don’t lose yourself in the idea that you are a mother now and that is the only thing you can be. No! You are a mother first, but you still get to own who you are.

The baby will adapt to the life that you choose to make for you’re family. Do not exclude the baby from the daily errands that you need to take care of. The more that you have you’re child with you, the more that you will want them with you.

I thought after going back to work that my daughter was better off being cared for by family. That was the post partum talking. At first going back to work made me feel normal. Then it made me feel horrible. I knew I was giving into depression and regretted the time I was missing with my daughter. I decided to move to part time and started spending much more time with my daughter. That is when it finally clicked for me.

After spending more time with my daughter, watching her learn and develope new skills, I couldn’t get enough time with her. She is my world, and I am hers. I have adapted to her needs and wants and she has adapted to letting me clean my house, run errands, and going for walks.

It is hard to see now, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. There are better days to come. I can’t promise you a time frame of when you will feel better, but I can promise you that when you finally get passed the uncontrollable thoughts and the devastating emotions, you will be the happiest you have ever been. You will know how strong you were to have made it through. You will be proud of the mother that you are. You will cherish every moment with you’re child. (Yes, even the hectic days will be cherished.) Believe in yourself and the love you have for you’re child. You are all in my thoughts and I am here if you ever need a stranger to just listen to how you feel.

Sincerely,

A mom who knows you’re struggle

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Research before Voting

If I hear one more person say they are a Democrat or a Republican because their parent or spouse is, I may very well lose my mind. Please people, it is important to form you’re own beliefs. You may have the exact same thought process as the person you are listening to but most likely you’re views vary some what from theirs.

When there is an election in the near future take the time to find the facts. Commercials are not the right place to gather information and social media is even worse. Both are paid to be placed to the public.

I will not sit here and push either party on you, it is you’re right to form an opinion on issues that are important to you. I will however ask that you decide what issues mean the most to you and choose a candidate that has the same views as you do.

You do not need to agree with you’re family or friends! You need to vote in a way that is true to who you are and what you want to stand for. If you are uncomfortable voicing how you feel on political topics then don’t. It’s not necessarily a bad thing to keep you’re opinion to yourself, however if you feel strongly on a topic and know the facts, please feel free to spread you’re knowledge.

There are many ways to find what is fact or fiction. Take a couple weeks to review various sites online, compare the information and make sure the sites are accredited. You will be proud when you walk into a voting booth and actually know what each bill means and how you can make a difference.

Also it is imperative that you do not simply believe what a political figure is saying. Be sure to look at their history to discover if what they are saying falls in line with their actions. What organizations are they affiliated with? Who have they supported in the past? What changes have they been apart of?

I do not claim to know everything about politics, even if I did I would hope this blog has inspired you to find what you believe in and what you want to be for or against.

Thank you,

Mom concerned for our children’s future

Options for Working from Home for Mothers

This is one of the hardest days for many mothers. There are a million thoughts of how to stay home instead of returning to work. Are you the only source of income, does your spouse make enough to provide for you’re family alone or is it imperative that you still have an income.

There are several options for working from home. First you can ask you’re company if there is a position available that would allow you to work from home. If the company you work for does not have this option then you will need to explore other options.

Depending on the state you live in you can start a daycare at home. Each state has an allotted number of children you can care for with out a license. Start with asking friends and family if they would like you to care for their children. This is a good way to see if providing childcare is right for you. Local hospitals have CPR training classes that would be beneficial before caring for the children of others.

Another option is cleaning houses. Again friends and family are the best way to start. Call local cleaning services to get quotes on the price based off the size of homes. This will give you information as to what estimate you should give a potential client. Best of all most clients will be gone when you clean and you will have the option of bringing the baby with you. In most cases you will need to bring you’re own cleaning supplies. Be prepared for a little start up cost if you choose this option.

Of course there is the option to sell products from home. Be aware that most companies you sell for will have a start up fee or a monthly fee. That being said there are still several companies that you can make decent money with. If this is the option you want to take then be prepared to market the product and respond to potential customers quickly. There are companies that give you a website for people to order so that you do not need to ship products. For stay at home moms shipping products can be time consuming. It is best to research several companies befor deciding what is best for you individually.

Lets discuss crafts. If you are great with do it yourself projects this may work for you. Anyone can create artsy peices, what matters is how you sell the crafts you create. Start with social media, friends and family. Once you start selling you can also try online sites such as ebay. Depending on the cost of supplies and shipping you can decide the price of the items you have created.

In the end this is a decision you have to make as a family. There are cuts that can be made in monthly spending to help with the income set back. It will take time to build repore if you decide on any of these options. The most important part is deciding what is the most beneficial to you’re family.

There are several questions you need to ask yourself

  • How will the bills be paid?
  • What monthly spending can you cut down on?
  • What will you do while at home to make a positive difference?
  • How much would child care cost if you did return to work?
  • Who would be responsible to care for you’re child?

Income from home options

  • Telemarketing
  • Childcare provider
  • Sales Representative
  • Online Teacher
  • Housekeeping
  • Crafts from home
  • Online Virtual Assistant
  • Online Instructor
  • Online Medical Billing
  • Online Financial Assistant

Waking up with PPD

This beautiful baby is all that I have ever hoped for, yet I woke up one morning to a feeling of total despair. How did I get here? What went wrong? Why can’t I stop crying? Shouldn’t I be feeling blissfully happy?

All these thoughts ran through my mind like a tidal wave crashing down on me. The doctors told me I have Post Partum Depression so of course I immediately start to do research on the topic. Sadly there was no good answer I could find that would magically cure the way I felt. Sure I could take medication but then would I still be me? How much would that transform the person that I am and how long would I need the medication.

After a few days of a considerable amount of research and personal thought, I decided to refrain from taking a prescription. It has been a long 11 months since I had my daughter. There have been days filled with joy and days filled with absolute depression.

Small things have helped, eating better, exercising, reading, and hiking. My daughter has certainly become the highlight of my life. She is a diamond that keeps me strong enough to continue chipping away at this rock wall that is post partum depression.

Joining a support group on social media has also strengthen me. I read the stories or concerns of other women that are struggling and find that helping them through their dark times also helps me. It also reminds me of how far I have come from the beginning of this journey. No mother wants to feel that they are not good enough for their child. The sad reality is that the chemical embalance causes us to feel this way.

Alot of mothers lack support from the people around them. Yes, we know we shouldn’t feel this way, but we do. Yes we realize that our children are the greatest blessing, they are the most important part of our lives. Yes we are trying to get better, but you don’t know how hard that is, because you have never had these uncontrollable thoughts and emotions.

Mothers do not choose to feel this way… Every ounce of us wants to get up in the morning with a smile and be perfect for everyone around us especially our children. Unfortunately we wake up with a million thoughts and a fear of messing everything up.

Don’t give up on a mother with PPD. It may take months or years for her to be the happy person she once was. If you are strong enough to stand by a mothers side through the good and the bad you will be rewarded in the end. You will find that this mother is stronger than the woman she was before and that she is happier because she is so blessed to have made it through.

Mothers who are struggling, you may not feel worthy today or tomorrow. Not to long from now you will look at that beautiful face of the child you created and see the love they have for you in their eyes that twinkle at you with each smile. You will look back and see that you never truly failed them because you stuck around and you did the best that you could. You don’t need to spend the rest of you’re life regretting what time you didn’t get to enjoy. Instead you can step forward and be the mother you wanted to be when you were crippled by depression. You can help other women who are in the middle of their own struggle. Light is shinning on the life that you are about to make for yourself and you’re children. You are strong, you are blessed, and you are ready to make a difference.